Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Mother's Day, pt. 6

It's hard for me to believe that, while we are still living this story, the details and chronology of it are already hard for me to keep straight.  That's part of why I decided to lay this bare on the blog.  Also, because people have already reached out in love and in commiserating grief.  Thank you.  

Here's where things start to move pretty fast.

As I was working a job that I absolutely loved and would do until I had babies to stay home with if 8 hours wasn't a ridiculously long commute, R was working a part-time power-washing job and looking for a ministerial job.  Because of some past events, I was a little reluctant but, deep down, I knew I was just fighting God's will.  (And if I stopped fighting, maybe I'd get a baby!)

Long story short (you are all laughing hysterically now), we moved to Podunk, West Texas.  R became Youth Minister at the First Baptist Church here.  He moved the beginning of August and I moved the beginning of September.  Sometime soon after I got here, we went to see a new Urologist.  Because we were eight hours from the old one.

He looked at the files and previous tests and said the next step is to do a biopsy.

A few months and about $3000 later (we have started a new Dave Ramsey snowball now and are down to one medical bill, student loans, and some savings! but we really don't worry too much about those pesky student loans right now...), the week before Thanksgiving, we found out that R is missing some cells that help produce the sperm.

And just like that we are down to two choices:

Sperm Donation



I went through some real anger about this.  I had given up a lot to move out here.  I had followed God's will and my husband's leading.  I did the right thing.  We were finally able to afford for me to stay home. We had great insurance benefits.  Where was my reward?! Where was my baby?!

One last part in the planned part of this series is coming soon.  But, like I said, we are still living this story.