Friday, June 12, 2009

The other shoe dropped.

I was planning to write a post about something funny that happened yesterday involving me attempting to write down the recipe I use to make biscuits. But that will have to be a story for another time because I need to get this out there and it's going to be long enough already.

So Rachael says it so much better than me. If I was that eloquent, we'd have a pretty similar post today. So if you want something shorter and sweeter, head over there. If you want a few more specifics, then stick with me.

My husband is no longer the newest box mover at UPS. Which means he'll have so much more time to get his school work accomplished and graduate this summer. And that is the real goal because then we can move on. And I do think we will be moving. It's just a feeling, but God knows I need time to prepare for change and He usually gives me inklings before it happens. Like knowing another shoe was going to drop. I just didn't expect it to be something to hammer home that whole trust and waiting thing quite so completely. And I do think He's trying to teach us some trust. And some patience. I hope it's okay with Robert that I say that I think God is trying to teach him trust. I think (though I'm not so sure now) that I'm good in that area but God is trying to teach me to wait on His time. I'm not so much a patient person. Really. I can put the same child in timeout for the same offense all day long and be patient that way, but I am not patient when it comes to waiting. I don't want to wait on God's timing in this situation. I want to formulate another plan and execute, execute, execute. (Toy Story, two separate scenes for those who don't know.)

It really boils down to these three parts of my personality. I am a planner. I am a fixer. And I really need to be in action. (I am the person who drove several (and I do mean several) miles going east when I needed to be going southwest, to circle around a traffic jam (otherwise known as the mother of all traffic jams that had traffic stopped before I even reached Austin city limits. When I took a huge overpass farther in the city, you could see them back up for miles and miles and miles.) And while I'm not sure that it really saved me time, it felt like it did because I was actually moving.)

So I see a problem and I want to make a plan to fix it and then do it. I want action. I want to be actually moving. Sitting still just makes it feel like an eternity and I feel like waiting will only make the problem worse. When, in reality, I know that if God does not go before me, well then, action will be what makes it worse.

I have strong feeling that God wants us to move on from this town. We came, we graduated (or one of us did and one of us will shortly), and we served during that time, but now we must move on. It's like our purpose here is done. Several doors have been slamming shut recently (and I do mean slamming not closing. Read the posts below, they give a little explanation) and I just don't think there are a lot of options for us to stay around here anymore. So, unless God drops something in our laps that says "no, stay here," we'll be moving soon. We don't know to where, though if it's to CS, then there is a plan somewhat in place and ya'll now know how much better that makes me feel, but we feel like we can't stay here. We've had our last call lol. (You know, "you don't have to go home but you can't stay here." Which is doubly funny if you know me because you know I have never set foot in a bar in my life, which is really because I think I might die within five minutes from smoke inhalation. And I dont' drink. I really don't care that other people do, but really, what's the point in going if you aren't drunk enough not to notice the smoke?)

So that request for prayers before (and now I have 5 followers and 2 commenters to do this lol) has changed. We just want to know what to do now (in both senses of that word lol). Do we really go? Where do we go? What do we do there? How will we live until then? And there is no who or why because, well, it's us and becuase we know why. God has a plan. It's just a little unclear right now.

And now if you want to read something funny after my post, read this.